Rockem Sockem Robots VS. Leona: The Professionaless

Rockem Sockem Robots VS. Leona: The Professionaless

Tom and I recently watched two newer movies in the same night, both of which really suprised us. The one that we thought we would really like wasn't that good and the one that we weren't expecting anything from we both actually enjoyed.

For our movie marathon night, we watched Real Steel from 2011 starring Hugh Jackman and Evangeline Lilly and Colombiana starring Zoe Saldana also from 2011. (I know, I know, 2 new movies in one night? What is happening to us? I think Tom is hooked on Red Box.) Can you guess which one we enjoyed? I am willing to bet that you will guess wrong.

               

We have both been wanting to see Colombiana for a while. It looked like an entertaining revenge movie staring a girl, which is nice to see, as long as they don't get someone like Tara Reid to play the part. (Find out how we really feel about Reid and other actresses here in our review of StarThor.) Zoe Saldana was the only name that I recognized during the credits. Her acting seems genuine and she can really hold her own in an action flick. (I also liked her in Star Trek and Avatar.) You should know by now how much Tom and I enjoy action movies, so we both expected to really like this one. We were so wrong! I know that our good friend Chris would disagree with this opinion, since Colombiana has boobs, blood and action (isn't that what makes a good movie?), but it really wan't enough to carry the movie due to the story being recycled. The further we got into the film, the more we realized that Colombiana is really Leon: The Professional with a girl instead of Jean Reno. With that being said, the story itself is pretty entertaining, as long as you haven't seen Leon (which is awesone by the way. If you haven't seen it, please do).



Although Leon and Colombiana have different directors (Luc Besson and Oliver Megaton, repesctively), they were both written by Luc Besson, whose movies we usually enjoy. He has a distinct style that is apparent in all of him films which is very recognisable, but this time style wasn't enough to hide his unoriginality. There were scenes and converations in Colombiana that were very close to being exact copies of scenes and conversations from Leon. I guess that if someone is going to remake Leon, it was for the best that Besson did it himself, weather it was intentional or not.

The best way I can find to describe Colombiana is with this scenerao: Leon (Jean Reno) makes Mathilda (Natalie Portman) go to school when she is young instead of training her to avenge her father's death while she is still a child. As she gets older, he does train her to be an assassian so that when she does grow into Saldana, she can get her revenge as an adult rather then as a little girl. So I guess it isn't exactly a remake, more of a continuation of Leon if it had an alternate ending. Either way, we were very disappointed in Colombiana and can't wait to rewatch Leon: The Professional.

The other movie that we watched the same night as Colombiana was Real Steel, which neither of us had any expectations from but we both kinda enjoyed. (Isn't it funny how that happens?) Now, before you get all sorts of riled up about us liking Rockem Sockem Robots: The Movie, let me tell you why.

   

First of all, I like Hugh Jackman. But regardless of wether I like him or not, the emotional growth made by his character, Charlie Kenton really draws you into the story. His character changes from a slimy dead beat to a caring father that makes you root for him in the end (which I will not give away, but it did make me cry a little). Real Steel also stars Evangeline Lilly, or Kate from Lost, who plays Jackman's love interest. She knows all about rebuilding robots does a really good job of not letting her Canadian accent slip out during the movie.

 

Real Steel really is just Rockem Sockem Robots set to a story that is very similar to Over the Top (starring my all time favorite, Mr. Sylvester Stallone), only a little less heart warming due to the lack of a theme by Kenny Loggins.



Jackman's character is a washed up/has been boxer, who was trained by Kate's father, and gave up all legal rights to his son when he was born. Now, since boxing is obsolete (in the future where this is set) fighters control giant robots that get in the ring and do the fighting for the men. This way no one gets hurt. So, this is now what Hugh does for a living, but he does it very poorly and loses many fights and is absolutely broke.

Early on in the movie, Hugh's ex dies and he makes an arrangement with her sister that he will get his 12 year old son for the summer; but then he has to turn the boy back over to his Aunt after three months. Come to find out, the son is a really big robot boxing fan and wants to tag along with his Dad. They end up bonding over this older model robot that they find at the dump, which looks a lot like the Iron Giant. (I love The Iron Giant, it makes me cry everytime I watch it)

       

On the top is Atom, who shows Hugh Jackman how to love his son. This movie is very heavy on the emotional aspect of the story. It really could have been told without the robots turning it into a boxing movie. Like I said before, I won't give away the ending, but I will tell you that it has one of two possible sports movie endings. He will either win or he will lose. You will have to watch it to find out. The thing about sports movies is that you usually feel good about the outcome which ever way it goes.

So in conclusion, don't bother seeing Colombiana, you are much better off seeing Leon: The Professional. It is the better of these two almost identical Luc Besson films. If it was Zoe Saldana you were watching it for, you should see her in Star Trek instead. Real Steal, on the other hand, was surprisingly enjoyable and you really should give it a chance. After all, it does have a dancing robot. Also, add to Over the Top to your list of movies to watch. It's Stallone as a arm wrestling trucker, how can you possibly go wrong?

Speaking of Kenny Loggins, I will leave you with this final clip:

P.S. Did anyone other then Tom get the Falling Down reference? If you didn't, add that one to your "movies to watch" list too.